"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein
" My dog thinks he's human; my cat thinks he's GOD"
"In dog years I'm dead" -- Unknown
" Cats are nature's way of telling you your furniture is too nice."
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg
Last year a team of scientists published the results of an extensive study of cat language. They determined that although cats may demonstrate a wide variety of vocalizations, they actually only have two phrases that are translatable into human terms: 1. "Hurry up with that food" 2. "Everything here is mine"
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams
"If you want to know the character of a man, ask his cat."
"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it." -- Unknown
If he doesn’t like your cat don’t marry him.
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies." -- Gene Hill
Cats are dogs with a university education.
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." -- Joe Weinstein
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - Dave Platt
"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer." - Bruce Graham
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." Unknown
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in thecar, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." -- Dave Barry
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." - Anonymous
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl." -- Penny Ward Moser
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez
"The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage." -- Danish Proverb
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx.
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry
"The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch." -- Michael Friedman
"One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemingway
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." -- Aldous Huxley
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." -- Robert Benchley
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." - Joseph Wood Krutch
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives." -- Sue Murphy
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?" -- Unknown
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." - Anonymous
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers." -- Unknown
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." - Hippolyte
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz
"No heaven will not ever be Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." - Unknown
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." - Ernest Menaul
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron
"Time spent with cats is never wasted." - Colette
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." - proverb
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." -J.W. Krutch
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.."
"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic"
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley
"My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes."
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." -- Andrew A. Rooney
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion" -- Unknown
"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." -- Mark Twain
"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." -- Unknown
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -- Mark Twain
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." -- Smiley Blanton
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." -- John Steinbeck
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives." -- Rita Rudner
"A dog doesn't want much and is happy to get it. A cat doesn't know what it wants and wants more of it." --Contributed by Richard Hexem, to Readers Digest
"It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk-bone underwear"-Norm, on "Cheers"
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